Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Can I color on your dick again?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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