what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
