We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
