Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
