My room smells like vodka and shame
ugly people sure do ruin things
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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