u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
