thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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