Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
