I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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