Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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