fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
