And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
