are you still at the devil's house?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
