Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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