spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
