weddingsv make me drug and hornr
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
