I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize