oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
