i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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