i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
