She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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