we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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