You work out of a Hotel?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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