Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
