oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
