I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
