my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
