walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
