I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize