Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
