We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
