turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
