Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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