lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
