He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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