i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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