i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
