I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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