Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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