It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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