just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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