I swear she didn't look like that last week.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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