I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
