how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
