so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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