anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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