Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
