thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
