Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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