Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize