when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
