My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
