all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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