you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
