the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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