know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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