I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
