I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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