Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
