forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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