it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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