just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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